Cheeto Breath

After reading my blog about The Joys of Not Having To Date, a friend of mine responded by asking, "When dating, should you date around or date one at a time?". I've been scratching my head on that one-trying to figure out a nice, politically correct answer.I even tried channeling my inner "church girl" to come up with a good answer...but to no avail. Some things, like dating, are best when you are up front, open, and honest.

When I started dating for the first time, all I heard from my grandparents, aunts, and uncles was ridicule. In their eyes, all young folks were evil and confused. And they could never understand why Johnny from down the street just didn't do it for me. What was wrong with marrying Johnny after college? After all, he was gonna be a DOCTOR (gagging on my spoon here). Why couldn't I just be happy with Johnny and leave all the other boys alone. "CUZ JOHNNY IS BORING", I wanted to shout, "AND HIS BREATH ALWAYS SMELLS LIKE CHEETOS!" Leaving my options open was a great choice.

Modern day dating to me has turned into a rat race where everyone is trying to out-do each other, and trying to reinvent themselves into something they are not, or never were. On your first date you don't meet the person you are destined to be with, you meet their representative. And they usually have on their Sunday Best, while the guy you end up marrying has holes in his drawers and is missing his front teeth. In the worst cases, we end up going on dates with their "representative", and not meeting Mr. Johnny Cheeto breath until after we have walked down the alter to the pathway to hell. Dating in the old days seemed a little different to me. You knew very well in advance that the man you were about to marry only had one good mule, and his last wife had died leaving him with 3 REALLY bad kids-and maybe you still married him anyway. These days you are more likely to not really know just what you are getting into. The Game has truly changed.

So with that said, I almost think it would be unwise to put all of your eggs in one basket. If the game itself has changed, the way you play must change also-as long as you’re honest. I see nothing wrong with keeping your options open as long as that’s what works for BOTH parties. In the case that one party has a problem with it, perhaps the two people are not a good fit. After all, if things were perfect neither person would want to date anyone else. If you feel the need to check out the other produce, then maybe her melons aren’t as ripe as you would like them to be. Now, perhaps once you’re out there in the Shark Pool you will find that the other melons are actually rotten; and in that case you may find out that your original produce is actually ‘where its at’. I just wouldn’t risk having the other person not knowing your true intentions up front.

There were times in the past that I longed for a serious relationship, but just knew that the person I was dating was not The One. No need in pretending he is The One, so I made the decision to keep dating other people. Some guys did not like that idea too much, but they weren’t left with much of a choice-“Shut up and like it, or Keep it moving!”. I never wanted to mislead anyone and make them believe that they were perfect for me, or that I was completely happy with the way they treated me. Instead of waiting for them to magically change, I went on to try and find my soul mate. I knew that there was something special about my husband the night we met. I never went out with another man after that-I cut every other guy off. If I would have stuck to my “date one at a time” rule I never would have met him.

There were also times that I didn’t really have the energy to date more than one guy at a time. I just took my time and waited to see where things went. The problem is, sometimes one person has stronger feelings than the other. I may be madly in love with you from the 1^st date, but it might take you a while to realize that I’m actually worth keeping. In that case, I guess it’s up to me to decide just how long I am willing to wait. And I’ve seen some people wait too long, and miss out on a good thing. If I’m really what you want, there will be a day when it becomes blatantly obvious to you. Whether that’s a month, three months, or even three years is entirely up to fate. But everything happens for a reason. Perhaps if I would not have waited for guys in the past, I wouldn’t have ever gotten fed up enough to go out and date someone else. Sometimes it just takes a bit of nerve and resilience to grab what you want. No need to settle for a guy whose breath smells like Cheetos when there is a minty-fresh Colgate smile right around the corner.