Just chill out and let the Master do His work!

I know that I worry too much. I get that. But now that I am no longer in denial about my worrying problem, what's my next move?
I try so hard to just brush things off and play it by ear, but I do NOT like surprises. I like order. No, I LOVE order! Which is surprising because my life has been completely full of surprises. I end up driving myself crazy trying to create my own personal 'Groundhogs Day'. Sadly enough, no matter how hard I try, I never end up with a starring role in that blockbuster film.
I have this reoccurring dream that I am back in high school. But in the dream I am a grown woman. Somehow I end up with this call that I have to return to high school to complete my math requirement in high school before I can finish college. In the dream I always end up failing the class. I definitely passed Math in high school, and in college. And I would be all too happy if I never saw another Math class. But something about that dream just drives me insane. Its almost as if I want a "Do-over" so I can be a "star" in the class this time instead of just passing it. I know for a fact that the Math class dream is a parody for my life, and a strong symbol of me once again worrying about things I can't control. I would have loved to maintain all A's, but I freaked whenever I got a damn B. I didn't think I was that neurotic, but I guess I am-Oh well, we all have our vices.
Nowadays I have to put myself in check from time to time. I have a tendency to worry just a little too much about things that I can't control. Instead I need to just chill out, and let the Master take control. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. I guess I just need to relax and enjoy the ride. Easier said than done. A control freak does not change her ways overnight.

1 comment:

Kia Taylor said...

The dream I always have takes place in college, there's two version's. I'm adult working and living my life, but I must return to finish up a class I need to graduate. The other version is that I've missed class for the whole semester and now it's time for the final and I'm not prepared...These dreams always seem to happen when I'm stressing over my next move or something that I'm hoping will happen...