Finding Relief after dealing with Cancer

Whenever I see the words ‘Cancer’ written down on paper my heart sinks way down into the pit of my stomach. Words cannot express how much I despise the disease, and how much I hope and pray that I see a cure sometime in my lifetime. Instead of finding a cure, we are faced with the fact that Cancer is spreading more and more every day, and getting uglier by the minute. After watching my loved ones be affected by the disease again this summer, I vowed to spread the word as much as I can and show people how important it is to lend a hand in helping to fight the disease.

I am fortunate enough to live in a community where the fight against Cancer is a main priority. We have amazing facilities that provide services to families in need, and are 1 in only 22 states fortunate enough to have a Hope Lodge; a facility that offers cancer patients and their families a free, temporary place to stay when their best hope for effective treatment may be in another city. It also provides a nurturing, home-like environment where patients and caregivers can retreat to private rooms or connect with others who are going through many of the same experiences.

Our local hospital’s Cancer Services Department is now offering yet another resource for patients and their families. Starting this month they are offering a series called “Living on after loss”; an eight-week series on learning, understanding and dealing with loss. The program strives to help participants sort out the pain and suffering that goes along with losing a loved one to Cancer. Participants will engage in activities that show them how to deal with grieving as a process, instead of a single event as they share with others with similar situations.

The meetings will be held each Monday from 5:30-7pm Jan. 24th-March 14th in the activity room of The McConnell-Raab American Cancer Society Hope Lodge, 930 Wellness Drive (near the ViQuest Center). There is no fee to participate in the program, but pre-registration is required by calling Kimberly Garner at 252-847-9450. It is so encouraging as a family member of a Cancer survivor to see programs geared towards awareness and survival after loss. Fighting against Cancer is so much easier when we have full knowledge of the disease and understand ways we can help.

For more information on the programs and services offered at the McConnell-Raab Hope Lodge visit http://www5.cancer.org/docroot/subsite/hopelodge/NC_Greenville/mr_index.asp or to join in the fight against this year’s Relay For Life in Pitt County visit http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=3299

Under a Rock...

Yes people, I have in fact been under a rock. Not the type of rock that affected those determined Chilean miners, but more like a psychological rock-a defense mechanism perhaps. It seemed that as soon as I decided to bare my soul to the world, a huge wall built up around me. The writing on the wall said "Need a break...be back soon". (Amazing that I didn't even recognize my own handwriting) I guess the break was more needed than I thought. I haven’t updated my blog, and I missed my last deadline for my monthly column in ‘Her…magazine’. I look forward to writing my column in the magazine every month, but this month I was so busy that I completely forgot about it. I thought maybe I could throw something together at the last minute just to make the deadline, but I don’t produce junk. So what was better, a last minute article that didn’t measure up to my normal work, or simply foregoing this month’s issue? Of course I went back and forth, thinking to myself that I might lose a few audience members if I stayed away too long. But when push came to shove, it was either lose some of my audience or lose my sanity. For what it’s worth, I chose sanity.
You'll have to count it to my head, and not my heart. I really haven't intentionally dismissed all that is around me. I simply needed to focus more on pertinent issues around me. Like my 13 yr old stepson who is going through a sea of growing pains, or my tired and stressed out husband who is running a million dollar firm on a wing and a prayer, or my best friend who lost both her dad and her brother this summer. We were all VERY tired and needed a minute to regroup. There is only so much chocolate and wine in the world, and driving to a PTA meeting drunk and fat is NOT an option for me.

Amazingly enough, the world was still in tact once I poked my head out from under that rock. I had the impression that the rest of the world had been spinning ferociously and had left me behind. I expected to come out and see little green men in space suits walking around Wal Mart and the Dollar Store as if I had been gone for centuries. As busy as I am, 5 days does seem like a century for me. My friends, my emails, my Twitter updates had all been pushed to the back burner. But thankfully for me, they were all still waiting when I came back. And now I actually feel productive again. I have on heels and eye liner again instead of flip flops and baseball caps. I feel ME again! Time to go stick my roast in the oven…

De-clutter your life

I realize that it is time for Spring Cleaning in my life. For the past 2 months it has become increasingly harder for me to maintain a regular sleep pattern. I am constantly up until 3 am trying desperately to get some much needed rest. I end up struggling through my days because I am always fatigued. I find it harder to manage my life, and even harder to enjoy time with my loved ones. The end result is that I am beating up on myself for not finishing the things I start. I get depressed when I look at the painting under my bed that's "almost finished"; the bag of items that I was supposed to return to Wal Mart last month; the Yoga DVD I still haven't opened; the story I'm working on that hasn't been edited in weeks. I look at it all, and I don't like it. It has to change, and I have to be the one to make it change.
Having too much "stuff" can allow stress to linger around in your life. Without that extra "stuff", life might actually not be so bad. A good friend of mine told me years ago that the reason why I was depressed was because my bedroom was a mess! She said it made her feel claustrophobic and made her mind race because there were so many things in the room. She proceeded to go downstairs and get a trash bag to help me get out of my rut. That was about 6 years ago. To this day, whenever I am having a bad day, I can hear voice in the back of my head. And these days I fight my depression and anxiety with a clean home. While I will NEVER fully recover from being a pack rat, I have become extremely better, and have managed to let go of a lot of material things. Psychologists say that people who hoard or hold on to lots of material things are 'filling' their lives with the stuff from the past that these items represent. Letting go of material things allows us to move forward in our lives and create new memories and new sources of happiness. When I met my husband, I heard the voice of my friend in the back of my head, and I decided to LET GO. I let go of all the things I had been holding on to for so long that supplied a lifeline to happiness. I then created my own lifeline to happiness. Amazing how a physical act can make you feel so much better emotionally.

I use my time alone to reflect, and sometimes observe my own behavior. I thought about why I haven't been sleeping, and all the answers sprouted up. The first obvious thing to me was that I was missing my husband. I ALWAYS have a hard time sleeping when my husband is away, so this month has obviously been a little tough for me. I don't like things that interrupt my routine, and having him not there definitely interrupts my routine, and makes me more aware of the fact that my sweetie is not there.
I also noticed the change in our bedroom. When we first moved our bedroom was so blissful and relaxing. It has unfortunately taken on another life. Once again, you can blame Eve for the stacks of magazines and books that lie there and collect dust on my very beautiful dresser that my husband 'used' to dust religiously. You can also blame Eve for the medicine bottles she continuously leaves on her nightstand. I managed to nip that one in the bud really quick. I used the 'drawer' inside the nightstand-Ooh, Go Eve! What a marvel concept.
I have noticed a few subtle changes in our bedroom, nothing major, just litle things that could possibly mess up the flow of peace and solitude that we were enjoying. So this week, in order to preserve my mental spirit, I am going to use my physical side to get things done. I am on a mission to transform this bedroom into the place it was meant for us to be. So come on new rods, new drapes, more decorative containers to hid our clutter, tons of beautiful and fluffy pillows, and tons of candles to make the mood in the room just right. This WILL be my place of refuge.
Difficult times require a refreshed spirit, and perhaps a new outlook. I refuse to go into Spring with a cluttered mind, body, spirit, and physical dwelling. My body is my temple, and my house is the foundation for the physical stuff for the outside world. Neither of them can be cluttered.
I promise myself that at least once a week I am going to tackle a physical project and evaluate how that helps me emotionally. I am positive that if I stick with it, I will have an extreme decrease in the amount of stress I have in my life.I will feel centered and balanced, and then there will be plenty of time for unfinished art projects and trips to Wal Mart.