6.02.2009

Beware of Successful Men

You can't have your cake and eat it too without heating the oven and helping to butter the pans.
My new favorite relationship guru Alisa Bowman blogs about the ups and downs of standing tall and sticking by your mate. With years of marriage under her belt, Ms Bowman surely knows a lot about what to do and what NOT to do in a marriage. And running at the first sight of hard work is definitely high up on the list of things NOT to do.
The 1st year of marriage is said to be the toughest. Being a newlywed has presented me with daily challenges that have allowed me to grow, and help me to be less shallow every single day. My husband and I feed off of each others' energy, and I love watching him enjoy the success of his dreams. Knowing that we can look back and see the change in where we've come from is a feeling to be cherished, and something I am already blessed to be able to enjoy.
I know that my man is ambitious as all get-out; its part of what I love about him. Its also our double edged sword. I realize that I will probably never see the day when he will truly relax and just chill. He is always thinking of new things to do, and ways to implement his new skills.I have to learn give him his room to breathe and grow. Its a process that you have to be willing to endure in order to reap the benefits down the line.There are no "freebies" in this game, every couple has to pay their dues and wait for their rewards.
I have learned so much from my husband already.And one thing I've learned is to give him support when he needs it.There is an old school saying that you have to "let a man be a man". And that means that there will be times when women like me have to hold our tongues for just a little bit, and let him do his thing. If he comes back defeated, then, and only then, can we quietly whisper, "I told you so". But until that day comes, let a man be a man, and let a woman be his backbone.
There are no weak stomaches when it comes to dealing with a successful man. Working long, odd hours, extensive traveling, sudden relocation. Only girls with 'Big Girl Panties' are equipped to handle men like that. It is not an easy job, and it takes a special person to be with an overly ambitious man, so be careful what you wish for. This means sacrifice, understanding, and flexibility. The fear of the unknown is not an option
So before you go wishing that God would just send you that over-achiever of a man, you might want to look at yourself, and ask yourself if you are up for the challenge, in it for the long haul, or just passing through for a new pair of Manolo's.Successful men need Successful women by their sides.

How do you support that special someone in your life? What's your secret?

3 comments:

Monica said...

Hmm. We're the other way around. I'm the one most likely to not sleep because my brain won't shut up. And NOT do something? Is your hubby a December baby by any chance? :-) It's all good. Man or woman, as long as the spouse supports and not hinders, it's all good. How long have you been married now?

JamericanSpice said...

I've seen alot of growth in my husband since we've been married too and I can definitely say the first two , three years were the hardest and I'm so glad we came through to here and we are still fighting to stay strong with each other when the daily moments creep in and brings turmoil.

I encourage him to find friends and go hang with them. I don't question where why or etc, and still he tells me and I feel great that he respects me enough to care and share.

Life is just gosh , it's alive.

Right now he is off to shoot with a man who he feels they can become pals. Great for him. I want him to enjoy his life and not just work and die. I encourage him to do this.

tristan said...

Today we celebrated our one year anniversary. We have learned so much about each other already and I can only pray that we can continue on this path. It has been so difficult but I am learning to support his desires. I'm trying so hard to be selfless. For me, it is a conscious decision to do so and not always easy. Your post was really thought provoking, I appreciate that. I am Tristan, btw. I just recently started blogging and it was wonderful to read yours.