10 lessons in 3 years

My husband and I have been married 3 years today. While that may seem like nothing to some who have been together for 10 or 15 years, it’s a lifetime for us. Our marriage is measured in days and experiences. Every breath, every cry, every laugh, every dinner, every report card is a bonding experience that holds us closer together. Here are a few things I’ve learned throughout my journey:

1-Your wedding is a day that you will never forget, but your MARRIAGE is a lifestyle that you CAN’T forget.

2-Never go to bed angry…not only will you be hurting your marriage, but you will also lose valuable beauty sleep and wake up with wrinkles (SO not worth it).

3-Laugh to keep from crying-the mortgage is due, the kids are screaming, and you just found a gray hair in an unforgiving place. Instead of creating more frown lines, take a step back to laugh at the ironies in life. You will put things back into perspective, and most often figure out that life is actually not that bad.

4-Pick your battles-Every disagreement is not worth an ARGUMENT. Sometimes you have to just keep quiet and let things play out on their own, even when you are right and your spouse is wrong….Even when he KNOWS you are right, and you KNOW he is wrong, and every other sane person in the world would probably agree with you too, and to top it off….Okay, sorry…bad flashback there…Whew! Love you Honey!
(picking my battles right now)

5-You are a team! A marriage doesn’t work unless you are both working towards the same goals. There will be days when your teammate needs a little extra push from you. Don’t complain about it-just do it, and remember that you will need for them to return the favor one day.

6-Self help books are NOT a crock of $@(%. No matter how long or short you have been married, sometimes reading through the pages of a self help book can remind you of your goals for your marriage. It can also let you know that the problems you THOUGHT you had really aren’t anything worth the time and energy you’ve wasted on them.

7-Spend time with older couples-Take the time out to talk to parents and grandparents about how they’ve made their relationships work. Their type of marriage may not be the thing for you, but it will remind you of how special it is for God to put two people together who love each other unconditionally.

8-Run away from your kids-People frown upon the idea of not putting your kids first all the time, but what they don’t realize is that some days you need to put your MARRIAGE first in order to ensure you have something to give back to your kids. Children learn by example, show them what true love is all about. This will ensure that they too will have healthy, stable relationships as an adult. Put the kids to bed early, or get a sitter and spend some time alone. The reconnection you have will allow you to be a better parent to your kids.

9-Tune out the naysayers-Everyone needs a supportive network, but you have to learn that you can’t let everyone into your marriage. Some folks have toxic views on how they think relationships should work, others are simply jealous because you have what they don’t. Be careful who you share details with, and take others’ advice with a grain of salt. Your best sounding board for advice: God.

10-Forever is a big word. Don’t say it unless you really mean it!

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