The Joys of not having to date

I was never really good at casual dating. In fact, I have had a boyfriend most of my life. To me, I was always a little too afraid to get out there in the pool of sharks. I was never quick-witted, and I'm not a good liar, so being a "Playa" was not a good career choice for me.
Now, don't get me wrong..I did try....And I failed miserably. I tried to do the whole "Its not that serious, we are just cool" thing, but I always managed to get my feelings involved (I am such a wuss). And let's not even talk about trying to sneak around. I always ended up telling on myself even before the fun got started. My girlfriend used to always yell at me and tell me that I needed to" toughen up and save some secrets for Jesus" (If you are reading this K, yes I am talking about you). Unfortunately, it took me too long to realize she was right, and that I needed to leave the "playing" to the true "Playas". So now I am here where it is safe-Marriedland. I tell my husband everything, and sit back and admire the Playas from a distance (you gotta give credit where credit is due). I guess God really knew what he was doing when he put us together, because, like me, he was not good at being a Playa either. He has been a Serial Dater for most of his life. He insists on being a good boy, and thats GREAT.

We are both relieved to be out of danger, and safe in our little corny, protected bubble of Marriedland. Its rough out there, and I don't think I have the balls to "hang" out there anymore. So I have to give props to my ladies and men who are still hanging on out there. I had a good talk with a dear friend of mine today (you too know who you are-wink, wink) about her entrance back into the Shark pool. It is amazing to see some of the things that women have to deal with. At least she is tough, so she will get through it, and eventually find a really good guy. Its just sad that we have to shovel through so much "poop" to get to the good stuff. Aren't we all adults? Can't we just be honest? I mean seriously, its enough to make a preacher cuss. Be real people!!! If you want to date me, tell me-before I leave your ass in the dust and move on to the next thing better than you. If you don't want to date me, tell me-so I can stop wasting precious gray hairs on your dumb ass. And never, ever, ever lie about your Mom being in the hospital (I'm pretty sure dudes only pull that one), thats just bad Man.
So, to my girl who is now entering the Shark pool (wink, wink). Have fun, and take evrything with a grain of salt. Laugh at the fools who do you wrong, and smile fiercely at the ones who will never have a chance in hell with you. Wear short skirts, and knee high boots. Have fun with being a girl. We only get one ride on this Harley; so BURN THE SPARK PLUGS OUT! And for those of us (like me) who can't hang, I will sit here and live vicariously through you, waiting for an update from the Shark pool.


This Bug said...

I loved this. Lying about your Moms being hospitalized is just asking for the Karma Police to kick down your door. Some dudes have no limit to how low they'll stoop.

I too live vicariously through Shark Pool updates and stories. It truly is rough out there and you are blessed not to have to weather that type of storm. Marriedland has it's own precipitation as you may already know- but that's a whole 'nother post now, isn't it? ;)

Shawn Michel de Montaigne said...

A good post.

I've never married; never plan to either. The lady I'm living with is wonderful, however. What's more, she has no intentions of ever marrying. Even better. We understand each other.

I, like you, was never good in the "shark pool." I never understood it, and I never will. And that's okay. I was never meant to. It took me nearly twenty years to figure that out.

The best to you and this blog. It looks terrific!