Judge not, for we all have flaws
I think I'm a good person. Well, I mean obviously I have a biased opinion-but still, I'm a good person. I always hold the door for old people (even if they are mean to me, or don't say thank you), I try not to curse in front of little kids, I don't dance on tables in public (uh..not anymore), I used to go to church A LOT, and I give homeless people food when I can. But I think lately my good deeds have been going to my head. I had to put myself in check, and make a conscious effort not to develop a "holier than thou" attitude. I am human; and humans screw up!
My mother says I was the perfect child. I always got good grades, and I never got in trouble. She bragged about it so much that I started to think that I was destined to just breath and be perfect. For someone who has had a lot of mishaps, that philosophy is a little screwy. Lately I have embarked on this journey to becoming the PERFECT wife and mother. My meals are always fabulous, and my house is usually clean. I clip coupons to save on groceries, and I make sure my stepson is well taken care of. But no matter how perfect we want to be, we will all screw up once or twice...or maybe even three or four times. My problem is not so much the "holier than thou" attitude, but the "I would NEVER do that" attitude. Who the hell am I to say how wrong someone is because they screwed up. Yeah sure, they probably were really stupid to keep doing the same dumb crap over and over again, but who am I to judge? That is NOT my job.
This Christmas holiday was supposed to be perfect and flawless because it was my first Christmas with my stepson. But the beauty in this holiday was that it wasn't perfect, but he didn't care-he enjoyed every minute of it, and is still on Cloud 9.
I learn more and more about myself every single day. You would think that after 31 years I would be real good at figuring myself out. But I do surprise myself from time to time, and end up asking myself, "What the HELLLLLL was I thinking?"
I have taken a little bit of advice from a young philosopher by the name of Jigga Man. And he has taught me how to brush the dirt off my shoulders.
"I'm not perfect; No one walking this earth surfaces, so Girlfriend, work with the kid"- '03 Bonnie and Clyde, Jay-Z and Beyonce
I have learned not to be disappointed when things don't go right. I have learned that even the most perfect people don't always get it right. Its not the end of the world...I will not be burned at the stake...My husband, my mother, and my brother will all still love me. And from now on, I will think a little bit more about why stupid people do stupid things...I will give them the benefit of the doubt before I unleash my "nun-ly values" on them...I will remember their mistakes so I don't do the same thing.
I will live my life. But it won't be perfect