All is [un]fair in Love and War

Relationships bring out the utmost in vulnerability. When you put your heart on the line, it’s hard to say whether or not your heart will remain in one piece. Young love can be beautiful, exciting, volatile, and heart-breaking. When it comes to matters of the heart, no one is exempt from the possibility of a tragic heartbreak.
This week I was disappointed to hear the news of a domestic violence dispute between world-famous pop stars Chris Brown and Rihanna . Seems as though the pop stars had a little trouble in paradise, and Brown put it all out there for public scrutiny.
Chris and Rihanna are the quintessential Prince and Princess of the R&B/Pop world. Both stars have pretty much enjoyed a spotless paparazzi record. You never see Ri coming out of a limo with no panties; you never see Chris with a joint in his mouth. These two, in my opinion, have an EXCELLENT PR staff. They are young kids who were thrown into fame, glitz, and Glam. You know there has got to be a day when all the world’s magnifying lenses become too much to bear. Unless you have angel wings tucked under your coat, it is enough to make anyone go Nutso.
The recent news of their domestic violence dispute was a shocker to many. Domestic violence is nothing to be taken lightly. Emotions fly, feelings are hurt, and there is a lot to sort out. Unfortunately, this delicate issue was blasted all over the world. There was no option of “sorting out” any issues that they may have been confused about, because everyone was already telling them how to feel. It is devastating for any woman to be the victim of domestic violence. Even the strongest woman in the world can become privy to a ticked off mate who has lost his cool. And when that happens, they are torn between trying to play Ms. Tough Girl, and crying their eyes out wondering how and why this happened. Because these two individuals are celebrities does not make this incident any less tragic. I was appalled to see just how many ignorant people on the web wrote in with crazy comments like, “Well, she must have had it coming”, or “Chris Brown would NEVER do that”, or better yet, “Why should I feel sorry for her. She has enough money to buy her a new man”. WOW people. I guess celebrities are walking robots with no emotions. Are these two not supposed to feel any type of pain or remorse for their much publicized incident? And how do we know what either one of them would or would not do. To us this was Chris Brown and Rihanna fighting. To their families, it was their babies publicly fighting. There are Moms, Dads, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins involved now who are worried about their loved ones. I can’t imagine what C. Brown’s mother is feeling right now. No woman wants the world to view her son as a "Woman-Beater". I’m sure she is questioning things over and over in her head right now.
In the “civilian world”, women who are victims of domestic violence sometimes have the ability to keep their situations a little more private. They are able to keep it from their co-workers, and possibly (if they are lucky) out of the newspapers. Unfortunately for Rihanna, her incident involved a fellow Industry mate, and happened during the music industry’s biggest weekend. Not only does she have to face the perils of what happened in her relationship, but now she has to present this Superwoman Comeback routine to the world. The double-edged sword in all of this is that maybe now people will pay attention to how domestic violence affects the families of domestic violence victims. It’s a shame that we have to include a celebrity in order for an issue to become valid. Domestic violence affects millions of women every year. Domestic violence has no face, name, or color…it just IS. And the aftershocks don’t go away within a 24-hr news cycle.


Stesha said...

Sending good vibes to both of them. I hope they both seek help.

Hugs and Mocha,

Shawn Michel de Montaigne said...

Truthfully, I didn't even know who these two were until this incident came across the wires.

Unfortunately, fame exacts a heavy price, as does the pursuit of fame. This is one of its more egregious costs.

One hopes that both learn from this and can grow together, even more tightly than before.

Monica said...

Believe it or not, I've managed to not know precisely what happened between these two. I'm pretty good at avoiding the news and entertainment stations when I feel like being ignorant. I saw girlfriend on a mag cover and saw the headline but didn't desire to delve deeper. So your post is my first full reading of what happened and you know what? The whole thing is quite sad because you can never be certain where to come down in a case like this UNLESS it's happened more than once. If it has - and I don't know if it has - then pity is harder to find in me. But men AND women get angry. I know I do. Men AND women can lash out when they don't mean to and end up hurting someone. Maybe for the first and only time. But that one time is enough to brand someone so I wonder is this his first time? If so, is he now forever branded? And is she no forever branded as someone who is susceptible to such violence in relationships? Because it's not necessarily true for either of them. But the world feels free to judge anyway. Sigh. I think I'll keep on being ignorant and trying not to know what's going on in these people's personal lives, as hard as it is to avoid that. I really hope it was a one-time mistake.